An Old Theme

It is hardly new. I would require more than my two hands to count off all the writers who have done it before. I don't think my attempt is any better. It is a fusion of sorts, I suppose. It is short, and it is bitter. It is deeply personal, in a way that so few of my works are. It is a thought I had months ago. It did not come to words until last night and tonight, now that I seem to be on the brink of insanity.

I am, finally, putting myself on trial for Crimes Against Humanity. The case is The People v. J. So far I have written the case for the Prosecution and the brief statement for the Defense. What I still have to write is the Verdict, and I am afraid I have not yet reached a decision. I cannot say if I am Guilty or not. That is a lie. By the standards I present, I know the answer. It is irrefutable. I do not know why this causes me so much trouble. It is simple. It is undeniable. It is truth.

I don't live by those standards. I reject to them. I object to them. "I object to intellect without discipline. I object to power without constructive purpose." Mr. Spock was right. This is driving me mad. I must finish this. I must finish it now.

I do not recognize the validity of this Court. I do not recognize the authority of this Government. I do not recognize any inherent power of Society, and I do not recognize any socially binding duty to Humanity. In my life, I live by only one Law: that my life is my own. I live for myself alone, not for your sacred Society. I do not need to justify myself. If these words violate your Laws, I will not apologize. I will not beg for the mercy of this Court. I will not submit to you. I will not die like a dog. You do not own me; Society owns no individual. I am my own. If you wish to kill me to prove me wrong, then try it. If you feel you must destroy me to keep order, do it. You say you have the power, so prove it. Kill me, and prove me right.